| My first attempt at a story...give me some good reviews...and maybe I'll continue “Damn It “ She thought.” It’s just not fair. How could they possibly think there was something special about her?” John had told her not to worry about it. It would all come in time, but right at this moment, she could feel nothing, no matter how hard she tried. Carol saw a small chipmonk, and willed herself into this small creature’s head, but felt and saw nothing. “They’ve just been playing with my head”. She thought. “ This is just totally some kind of head game. They should have let me die”. Still, her thoughts returned to that day. They took her and her mother from the house, dragged them both out to the woods, and beat them. There was nothing to say. They were really just telling the truth. It had to be either her mother or herself that passed the syphillis on to the rest of them. Why couldn’t they understand that there was no other choice. They were all perfectly happy to use them the way they did. Survival will make a person do whatever it takes, but still they beat her, and left her and her mother for dead ! She awoke with this strange man looking over her. Not a man really, but a boy. The smell of ammonia and cleaning solvents filling her senses, and at once she realized that she was no longer lying in some back woods swamp, but in a hospital. “ Who are you “ she asked, but was met with only a stony silence, and a vision of this young man’s back as he stared out the window, and contemplated how to answer her question. “ I think a better question, is What am I “ he said, “ and why was I allowed to find you. My teacher knew what happened to you, and he didn’t care………….but I felt it, and I felt pulled to you. I truly am sorry that I didn’t feel it sooner, or maybe…………….. I could have saved your mother too” . She knew at once what that meant, her mother was gone, and she was truly alone. At fourteen, where was she to go ?. What was she to do ? Tribal traditions were very clear. If she could not find someone to take her in, then she would die, alone, or leave the reservation and try to make it on her own. Neither option felt very appealing. Already she had become the tribal whore in order to survive, but this was totally different. Without a parent…or benefactor, death was almost a certainty. “ What are you “, she asked quietly, “ and why did you bring me here ? I do not deserve to live, yet you have brought me here to save my life. Will you turn your back to me now that I am well, and let me die with hunger ? I have no money to pay my bill, or to buy food. All I own are the clothes you found me in, and even these will fall from me, and leave me naked.” “ My name is John, that’s all you need to know for now”. He said. “ I have some friends that will take care of you, and give you a place to live, if I ask them to. Do as they ask, and learn from them. You will see me again. “ That was several years ago, she thought. John was true to his word. Micheal and Elizabeth showed her many things, and John came to visit as often as he could, but still she could not do as they asked. “ It’s a joke, “ she thought. “ Nobody can do what they ask! To see inside some animals head was pure nonsense.” Still, she had seen John do so many wonderful things, how could she doubt him. Many times, she had sat with him, while the squirrels came to feed from the sunflower seeds he carried in his pocket. The deer were not afraid of him, and came to take apples from his hand, as though he was a loving mother suckling her young. Even she, felt the peace and serenity that surrounded him, but to reach into the mind of another….it could not be done !! She thought of the things that John had told her. The feelings that happen when joining with another. She had felt it too……knowing someone was watching her…only to turn and find it true. How did she know this ? How could she feel another’s eyes upon her….without really knowing they were there. It was just a feeling she had come to know. Eyes could be like the sharpest of knives, and even though they are not seen, they can be felt!! She washed herself in the stream. The blood was nearly gone now, but still she felt dirty somehow. It was a natural thing, but still she could not silence the voices within her head. She knew it was a remnant of the old ways, when women were sent away at this time. Unclean, and dirty, when the blood flowed., the men sent them to the lodges, until they were clean again. This was a new time, the old ways were long gone, and still……. She felt the eyes upon her, and she turned to see who was looking upon her in her nakedness. There was no one. Still, the feeling ran through her body like a cold wind, blowing through the forest on a cold December night. Watching…..Listening….Waiting…….Unseen, but just beyond the perception of her eyes. She tried to focus, but could see nothing. “ Relax”, she said, “ follow the flow of the feelings, like a leaf drifting in the current of the river. Do as John taught you to do”. Suddenly she found herself kneeling in the bushes, eyes focused on the body in front of her. The scent drifting to her nose…driving her mad with desire. “Go now “, she thought. “ Take her, and fill her with your seed. No! Watch! Wait!”. She saw the pictures in her mind of what she wanted. She could feel the desire building within her, as she drew the scent of this female within her enflamed nostrils. She was ready. All he needed to do was to take her. He…..no, she…..”wait, who am I “? She turned to see him creeping from the bushes, and smelled his male-ness. At the same time, she looked through his eyes, and smelled herself within him. “ No “, she thought, “ This is not the way it’s supposed to be” ! Again she looked within him…this beast…and felt his desire….and his desire became her own, and they were one. He felt it as well, and crept upon her. Two creatures, one mind, and only one goal……….to mate. She felt her heart beating, and felt the hardness of his maleness. She felt the pain of the swelling within him. It was her pain as well. It was a pain that begged for release, and she fell to her knees as he came to her. She wanted….no….she needed…… “ God, John, Where are you ????? This is too much for me”, she cried.Continued…???That all depends on you. Lets all see how depraved I can become.....or what it is truly like when two minds meet as one |
